It's not too long before I think something about Philip Seymour Hoffman. I've had 'Jack Goes Boating' on DVD for a long time, finally watched it recently. I suppose I didn't watch it because what if it wasn't good? Would that influence how I felt about him, one of the most influential artists of my life? Turns out it was exceptional. You have to wait for it. It's beautiful. The guy just had it. I stumbled across this quote of his recently and it stopped me,
"The less you know about me the more interesting it will be to watch me do what I do."
If you are living and reading this right now you know the emphasis and importance of constantly producing 'content' on the internet. Are we all (ok excuse me I'm listening to Bon Iver's "22, A Million" record for the nth time and that line in '00000 Million' comes on 'the days have no num-ber-erssss' Jesus so beautiful)...so are we all terrified of being forgotten? And if so forgotten by whom? Is it important to get more than 50 viewers on an Instagram story, is that where your worth lies? This is the path this culture has made. I believe it's important to see this path, and categorically reject it. I gotta tell ya for me if I know someone constantly throws 'content' on the internet I have totally checked out. Not interested. I don't want to see your ice cream cone in boomerang. Oh you're working out again? Great. We know. I've seen a gym, too. Why isn't it just important that you know what you're doing and that be enough? I love thinking about this because I love things that make me think. Sure I'm online. But I don't say much do you know why? Because there isn't much to say lately! Oh I've got anecdotes. My life is rich, I could tell you a million things, there are a million things going on - but my damn diary already knows them, I've already told the stories. It'll mean more to my kids (if I have them) 50 years from now that when Judd Apatow came into my work I told a story and made him laugh. I guess that's me telling you I wasn't gonna tell you that.
But seriously who do you know who 1. posts quite often, and 2. is taken seriously - both at the same time? I mean this is simple supply and demand, or the concept of diminishing returns. That beautiful Joe Pug line from "Hymn 101" comes to mind,
"I say the more I buy the more I'm bought, and the more I'm bought the less I cost."
It's TRUE. Look I'm not advocating everyone go become a monk. Go off the grid and sit still for 10 days straight. That last one would do us all good, but. I simply don't have any interest in keeping up with the Joneses on the terms agreed upon. In not telling you everything I am telling you everything. When a person resists imparting the mundane of their lives upon everyone else, when someone refuses to assign value to the truly meaningless - a great freedom is allowed to exist. When my free will choice is silence I am giving you the best possible chance for you to sit with your beautiful mind and free will - undiluted, uninfluenced, undisturbed by me. So in that way when you're not hearing from me I've actually been telling you how much you mean to me this whole time.
I used to forecast a lot. Years ago I used to tell people when such and such a song would be done, or I'm gonna go do this recording soon, 'new music on the way!!' etc. And to tell you the truth I always felt resistance like I shouldn't have been telling you in those ways.
When art is fully actualized (the pursuit of which is the main driving force of my existence) - it has become that way on it's own time and terms and what a goddamn beautiful, irreplaceable thing. There is a time and place to tell you about my death and rebirth. The story is still being written, and it must be written right. When it's ready to be read, and the songs are ready to be sung, what a day that will be.